from a room with a kickass view...

That awkward moment where you want to throw-up because you’ve paid all your bills for the month and have zero dollars left.

ohmuffins:

Oh, and you’re a teacher. You know, as in a “professional”.

couldn’t have said it better myself… :(

people i admire: those who never give up, who never take no for an answer

when life puts an obstacle in your way, it’s pretty easy to just say “no thanks, today i’m staying in bed.”

i’m not necessarily a pessimist, but i feel the need to anticipate how things are going to play out in order to be mentally prepared to face them, if the situation arises. i don’t like being caught like a deer in the headlights. i’ve said this before, but i blame this annoying habit on those “choose your own adventure” stories i read as a kid.

we have a new kid from monterrey in my fourth grade class this year named peter. he has spina bifida, which i honestly know very little about. his legs are pretty deformed and he doesn’t seem to have any strength in them, so he uses a walker to move around, but man! does that kid move! on the first day of school, he astounded me with his enormous smile and confidence, and he has continued to shock the heck out of me every day since. but i finally had the opportunity to have a meeting with his mom the other day, and that woman almost brought me to tears. what an incredible woman!

my empathy for others has trained me to put myself in someone else’s shoes when they are telling me their story. as i was listening to her talk about her son, i was just amazed at how she never took no for an answer, and has spent the last eight years searching for ways to help her son live as normal of a life as possible. for some reason, i imagine myself being completely debilitated in a situation like hers. but not her! she raised her son exactly like i raised my daughter: to always be confident and when that doesn’t work, smile! i love peter’s smile, his heart just shines through (his name is pedro, by the way, but when i took attendance on the first day of class, he told me to call him peter).

another one of my personal challenges this school year is to be able to legibly draw pictures of animals on the board. i can’t say that i hate taking out my laptop every time the situation arises and having to google “draw a ___ in 5 steps,” because i do like the challenge, but i would like to be able to do it on my own. my students find the whole situation hilarious; i guess it brings me down to their level, a bit. so yesterday, i finally spent ten hard earned dollars on a “cartooning for kids” book. the idea is for me to practice drawing at night, before bed, and to practice animals in anticipation of stories that we will be reading to be able to draw them on the board. but let me tell you, drawing on paper and drawing on a dry-erase board aren’t the same!

i have been beating around the bush about my fear of being debilitated in the face of a challenge. mom, if you’re reading, i hope it’s okay to share a little of your story. when i was five years old, my little brother, georgie, was born prematurely. i don’t remember much, but he managed to survive for nine months. we spent many of those months in the children’s hospital of philadelphia and then a few months at home with machines and a nurse. those nine months were hard on us all, but it was the weeks, months and years that followed that were the hardest. in my opinion, it’s impossible to go through that kind of an ordeal and not raise your fist into the sky and scream “why?!?!” and then not crawl into bed and hide your head under the pillow. and when you’re five years old and you see your mom do that, i guess it becomes instinct in the face of difficulty.

but life goes on, right? such is the stuff that builds character, supposedly makes us stronger, we are told, non-stop. i say it, too, all the time. but honestly, sometimes that crap makes me gag. sometimes i just need to stay in bed with my head under the pillow. i wonder: does peter’s mom ever stay in bed with her head under the pillow? she’s got to, right?

i admire my mom. she eventually got up and got on with her life. and she has done a good job of it. she was my inspiration when my own daughter became my motivation to not stay in bed hiding my head under the pillow when my marriage got to be more painful than i could handle. it took me completing a grueling four day race across the baja peninsula to realize that i didn’t have to handle it anymore, and that yes, life could go on for my daughter and i without having to live with her father.

my beautiful daughter has definitely been worthy of getting out of bed every morning for. and at least i know that for her, i will never give up and i will never take no for an answer.